confusion central
if you’re here, you are SO lost.

Favorite one-liners

To all my geeky/nerdy friends – I thought you might appreciate these, even if they don’t all apply to you personally.

Plus I’m too tired to think up a new, original and deeply wise post per usual.



You know you’re an engineer if you have no life & can prove it mathematically.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?

The universe is a figment of its own imagination.

The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can. Don’t make me choose.

The box said “Requires Windows 95 or better.” So I installed LINUX.

Real Programmers Don’t Document – If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

Press any key. No, no, no, not that one!

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive (the dang thing blew up)

Math illiteracy affects 8 out of every 5 people.

Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

I’m not deaf, I’m ignoring you.

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

I can’t be fired.  Slaves are sold.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

ERROR: Keyboard not attached. Press F-1 to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Department of Redundancy Department.

Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)


Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.

90% of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at. (amen…)


2 Responses to “Favorite one-liners”

  1. I love them! (although I have now recanted of the “real programmers don’t comment their code” one).

    A good one to add to the list is: “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups”

    I’ve now spent waaay to much time working on this (a doggone 32 bit integer can only contain up to a 10 digit number, not 11), but here’s an 11 digit prime number: 54073926853. I had to cheat and use google as nothing else would cooperate 😦

  2. I thought you and a few of our mutual acquaintances might enjoy them.

    Oh yes…”Teamwork: Because none of us is as stupid as all of us.” 😀

    Oh…wow…you found an 11 digit prime number? I’m very impressed! O_o


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