confusion central
if you’re here, you are SO lost.

Thanksgiving/Thinking aloud

Well, I should update. So here I am! Updating!  🙂   Anyway.   Thanksgiving was wonderful.  I am truly grateful to be part of a great organization like the NCFCA filled with such awesome people!!!  My best friends are there, and I can’t imagine the school year with speech and debate.   Pertinent topic I’ve thought a lot about lately.   I’m afraid to say that I simply don’t understand the way the homeschool world looks at courting/dating.  You can’t really, truly get to know someone unless you are absolutely committed to them in a courting relationship.  The problem with that is, given only those two options, you create three options for yourself, and they’re both very serious.  You can either marry that person, or they can become your ex, because, as most people know, it is incredibly difficult to become ‘just good friends’ with someone once you have dated or courted them.  Or, your third option – you avoid the opposite gender altogether, remaining naïve and innocent.  Good enough – until you get into the real world which, unfortunately, EVERYONE has to, sooner or later.   Anyway, the whole premise of either no contact whatsoever or contact in a courting relationship only doesn’t make sense to me.  How are you going to know if you like someone enough to want to court them if you don’t spend time with them beforehand?  They might be ‘street angels, house devils’ as the … Germans? … put it so frighteningly accurately.  But you’ll never know that until you are absolutely sealed into a courting relationship.  Courting is different from dating in that it seems (to me) far more permanent.  Perhaps I’m wrong, but I see courting as a fairly solid word-of-honor thing between a young man and his girl’s father.  That means that if you’re in a relationship were the person is not at all what you were expecting, there is a great deal of pressure on you to ‘make things work’ or be seen as shallow or demanding.  My whole point is that you just need to know what you’re getting into.  You need an arena where you can just be friends with someone of *gasps dramatically* the opposite gender.  It’s ok.  In a controlled, supervised, Christian environment, even those kinds of friendships can blossom if they’re blessed by God.   I’m just thinking aloud.  I have wondered about this for awhile, and as I read and reread it myself, I’ll probably reach conclusions on my own….. Out, ~Lydia

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